Warmth

Potsdam, Germany
11:19 pm
Nice outside.

Okay, not a single one of you is going to guess what I am doing right now?!

Nope.

Nah, but that was a good one.

No.

Well, I am sitting on my balcony, wearing a long PJ, wrapped in my favourite blanket, enjoying the light warm spring night.

It’s so wonderful to be able to do that after such an eventful day at work (with eventful I mean lots of work!). My feet are up, the light wind is playing with my hair, I am having some Ben and Jerry ice cream ( Caramel Chew Chew) and I feel really content to just sit here and watch the city sleep.

Yesterday, I was driving into work way too early so I found a nice parking lot (a rare occasion), scrolled my window down and shut my eyes. The wind was rustling in the trees, far away I could here work crews, the birds were chatting, cars passing me by. And what I realized just then was that I could just be me, right at the moment. No mask, no fake smile. Don’t misunderstand me, I try to be myself at work as much as I can, but when a parent doesn’t a agree with a therapy that ultimately would help his/her child or if it was a very stressful shift, I, like everyone else, sometimes have to force a smile and put up a “everything is in order” mask.

Kids are smarter than some people think. They now right then that we’re not being ourselves. It amazes me every single time, that when I have to hold a child down in order to insert an iv needle, they cry and fight, but when it’s over and I pick them up, most of them calm down immediately, put there head on my shoulders and their arms around my neck. And when I am having a bad day and am wearing my mask, some sense it, come up to me, gift me with a shy smile, give me a drawing to cheer me up or just raise there arms to give me hug.

And then people ask me why I love my job.

Night guys,
Hopefully soon more.

With much love and a big hug,
A.