MIssing, Holding and Missing

Berlin, Germany

08:30pm

Snowy, cold and wet

Dear friends, 

After I send my husband home in September I started my rotation in the adult ICU. I have to admit, I was scared as hell and am still a little nervous to start my shift there. But it's always mingled with excitement. New things to learn. New patients to meet. After 6 weeks my work-in was done and I left for San Francisco on the 14th of December. First time flying Swiss Air and I tell you, that I will do so again. Great Service, friendly personal and awesome food. My connection flight was in Zurich and I had 1h 30 min to start with, but adding to that my plane left Berlin 1h late because of snow and ice. While on route I was asked whether it would be okay to join  two other passengers also on their way to SF with a private transport. Of course I agreed, so the plane landed we got off and by the side was a lady with mine and 2 other  names on a piece of paper, took us out onto the runaway where a BMW waited for us. Private passport control and off to the gate, ahead of the crowed for passport control and into the plane. I was in awe :-). 

 My time in SF was great, but also exhausting. It's always hard to stay at someones house when you lived by yourself for a couple of years. I love my family in love very much, but still wished my husband already had his own place to have more privacy.

We got a place to have the ceremony for his family on June. It gives me a stomach ache just thinking about the costs. I sincerely want to have that ceremony, but also believe, that it is financially unwise this year. It is my husbands wish though and I already had my little party in Germany. I will do this. For him.

Best time next to spending a lot of time with my husband, was the 23rd of December. I felt very down, because despite the house being decorated for Christmas, it just didn't feel like it does at home. I made cinnamon stars, which turned out okay after 3 trials and listened to Christmas music. Still, not the same. 

Victor's cousin Andrea had invited us over to their house for football (big 49ers fan) and dinner. So we got on the truck, while it was pouring and stopped at a supermarket to get ice cream. I also bought some salad ingredients  By the time we got there I felt so bad I could have cried and then the door opened. Christmas tree, smelled like pizza, big hugs from Andrea and Carolina, as well as Brian, Cats husband. Tail wagging greeting from Eddie and Bruno, their dogs. I felt instantly better. We spend a great, uplifting evening with them, watching football, playing games, eating, pizza, cinnamon pizza and ice cream. They made my day :-). On the way home I had a good conversation with my husband. At the moment, in lack of our own apartment, the best conversations are held in the car.

By the 27th I left again. This time Lufthansa /United. Not such a great service. There was a little girl in front of me.. being a little sunshine and quickly making friends with me. We even sang a song together. 

I spend New Years Eve working and the Skyping with my husband into the New Year. What better way. 

Just 2 days ago I got a positive assessment for my work-in at the ICU, which makes me proud. 

Hopefully  my husband is going to visit in February. Wish us luck.

Much love, 

Andrea