Friday, June 13, 2014

Being a Mom

Berlin, Germany
02:10pm
Rainy

Hi everyone,

it's strange being a mom. There are certain things I always expected to feel when becoming a mom and others are totally unexpected. 

For example, I though I would worry a lot more. I do worry. Sometimes at I put my hand on his chest or my ear to his mouth to hear or feel him breathing. Though not as often as I thought I would. 

I love seeing him smile at me in the morning when he wakes up. I love the way he coos  at his toys. I love the way he smiles at me when I swaddle him for his nap, when he cuddles close to me, closes his eyes and falls asleep. 

I miss sleeping more than 4h in one go. I miss going out at night sometimes. I miss just taking my scooter places. 

I love going on long walks with Ben. I love family time with my son and husband. I love seeing my husband and son together. 

I am looking forward to seeing him grow, discover his world, start babbling. I am also looking forward to going back to work, letting grandma babysit, having some quality time with my husband. 

When you are a mom (or a dad) you learn a lot of new things:

- baby spit stinks when it dries
- pooping right after drinking without burping leads to a big spit up
- if you are not fast enough, babies pee when you take the diaper off
- sleep is not overrated, but you learn how to live with a lot less than you are used to
- babies can stink and will stink
- not every baby likes sleeping in the stroller
- there's a lot of free stuff you can get, but you'll have to look for it
- second hand baby clothes are awesome
- diapers and (if needed) baby formula cost a lot of money
- babies change fast!
- if you thing about planning ... think again
- you want rhythm? start as soon as possible to get routines 
- swaddle blankets are great
- Manducas (baby carriers) are great
- grandparents are awesome (Ben has 6 - lucky kid)
- aunts and uncles are awesome (Ben has a ton)
- cousins are awesome (so many more )


I know that there'll be so much more coming our way and I am looking forward to that! Being a parent is a learning experience every moment of the day. 

Have a great day!

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Long due update

Berlin, Germany
10:30 am
Sunshine, slightly windy

Wow, it's been a year and so many things happened. 

Let's start back in June last year. I traveled to California again to be with my husband.
This time the first days were a little hectic because we had our second wedding planned for the end of June. 

So, the family and me were busy with the last of the preparations. A big thank you goes to Carolina!! She held it all together and mediated between me and my mom -in-law if necessary. She handled most of the planing and gave me tremendous support! Thank you so much! I love you!
Also, a big thank you goes to my husbands mom, dad and sis and Cat's sis Andrea for their unwavering support!


For the wedding some friends from Germany joined us and I was able to meet them in SF and we did a little sightseeing together. The Friday before the ceremony/party we had a little cake pop party. I had decided that we don't want a wedding cake, because it is mid summer and American cakes are way too sweet. So, we decided to make cake pops. With a couple of cake pop makers and a lot of help we managed a little over a hundred cake pops. It was fun, but also a lot of work. 


The day of the wedding my husband took me and Cat out for breakfast, which was great to get away from the buzzing house. We originally had asked an aunt to perform the service, but she was too shy to speak in front of so many people. Last minute my friend Florian decided to step in. I was so grateful!


Concerning the wedding party..lots of unfamiliar faces...some things that went great..other things not so much....the two of us were happy when we arrived at our hotel at night. But, again, I realized that this is not my kind of party and am glad that we had that garden wedding party in Germany.

Vic and I drove down towards Monterey were we spend a week together. The first 2 days Florian joined in and the left for LA. The two of us went on trips, had meals together, spend time on the beach and just enjoyed being together. 



On the way home we spend one night in SF to go into the Redwoods. It was great! Huge trees, fresh air... loved it!

After we got back home, it was time to tell the family about our decision to move to Germany and not the States. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but the decision to do that wasn't easy for me either. I always wanted to move to the states. But since 2011 I got extremely settled in Berlin, loved my job, had a great apartment and 2 cats. Friends are founding families. Vic didn't much like his 2 jobs and lived at home. He had undergone studies to become a graphic animator, but wasn't able to work in it. He might have a shot at it in Germany. 

At a family dinner I cooked we told them. The reaction was mostly negative, which was pretty hard for the 2 of us. I think they were disappointed we hadn't told them earlier and also afraid to loose Vic. We had made a decision and were sticking with it.

The week till my journey back home wasn't easy. The atmosphere in the house was pretty cold, which was due to the fact that everyone was trying to digest everything. So, I kept busy with Cat and Andrea. Gay Pride, a fair and the flea market. Great times!






Shortly after I got back from the States, I found out that I was pregnant! I was so happy! 

For a joke I had bought a onesie "Made in California". Well, that's how I told my husband. ;-) 

Vic and I decided he would come here at the 31st of August and I was glad to have him with  me for the pregnancy. I was determined to work till "mother protection" (6 weeks prior birth) but I started to collect water in my hands which made them swell up and I didn't feel anything in my fingers anymore. So I was put on pregnancy leave (which in Germany means full pay). It was strange being home 24h with my husband. 

Finally living together was a huge change! I was used to doing everything by myself and Vic was used to work 10 to 12h a day and then go to bed. It took some weeks but we were growing as a couple as my bump was growing. 

Vic got a Visa for 5 years. Started a language course at a private school. We spend a lot of money, but after 4 month decided to stop for the moment and find a different school, because it was just not going as planned. Vic is also working on his drawing and animation skills, which is very necessary after his hiatus. He is working hard! After a migration advise we enrolled him at the local VHS with state support. That course is going much better!


In the beginning I was 100% sure it was a girl I carried. The doc told us pretty early that it's a boy. We were still very happy! All we wanted is a healthy baby!


The Grandparents on both sides were so happy! 

So on March 16th our son Benjamin Victor was brought into this world. He is our pride and joy! 


We are still growing as a family (which will probably never stop). Learning to understand Bennis cries, be astonished about his development, keep looking for a job for Vic. 

Hopefully Vic's parents are gonna be able to come by the end of the summer (they need to make sure Nana is in good hands). 

This is it for now!
Much love!