Tears

Potsdam, Germany
10:30 pm
Clear night – many stars

Writing this is actually really hard for me. A baby died at work. It’s not something like that hasn’t happened before but this is different. The baby came to us grey and wheezing, I did everything the doc told me to till the ICU nurses took it into their care, 30 minutes later the short life ended. It moves me to tears every time I think about it. Like right now, I am crying. It happened so fast, almost as if it wasn’t real. But the grief in the mother’s eyes, the tears that our youngest doctor cried, everything was real.

The good thing is that I was able to function – the doc ordered – I did it. The bad thing is nothing could have helped the baby.

And after it died, we had to put away and keep working, which was easier than I thought. But at home, most of us collapsed in ourselves. Like a heavy weight that was suddenly trust on us.

The whole team had problems coping, so we talked today. About what we felt, what we still feel most. It helped me because I knew that I wasn’t the only one replaying everything for hours after I got home. I wasn’t the only one thinking that if I might have done something different, would the baby still live. I wasn’t the only feeling devastated, for all the great medicines that we have, there are still limits.

If you look up to the night sky tonight, you just might see a new star shining down on us.

Andrea

News and no news

Potsdam, Germany
06:30pm
Sunny side of Potsdam

Hello you,

It’s been awhile since New York and lots of things have happened. The last post was a long overdue update about my latest US Trip. I wrote most of it when I was still in Indiana, but up until today had no time to post it.

Life is quiet. Sis is single again and I think broke Patrick’s younger brother’s heart. Long story. Don’t get me started!

Patrick is at the moment sitting on his lazy butt and doesn’t know what to do at the moment (which job, another education….). That boy drives me nuts!!

Work is stressful, but it feels good to be back. I think I would not be able to live without working. I don’t have to have clinic life for the rest of my life, but I need to do something.

Some friends have been asking about my love life again. I am still single. There is no one currently that I am interested in. Sorry. Stop pestering me – it’s frustrating enough!

We have a TV Show that’s called “Auf und Davon” and is about young ppl leaving their home to go to another country, as au pair, student, trainee etc. They had a young woman that went to India (New Delhi) for three month as a trainee at a kinder garden. The first impressions she gathered where about traffic, way too many people and she was clutching her purse very hard (afraid to be mugged). I laughed watching her, because I was reminded of my trip to Chennai last year. In some aspects I could sympathizes and in others I wondered whether she had read anything about India prior to her visit.

I will definitely go back to India at one point in my life and will travel around the country more. BTW, miss you, Weiss guys.

I will spend some time at my Dad’s next week after 5 days of night shift. I am really looking forward to some breathing time.

Much Love,
Rea

P.S.: I recently rediscovered one of my first music vids. Enjoy!

More USA - belated update

Indianapolis, USA
12:40pm
Icy outside, warm inside

Hello, hello and hello!

I am just sitting here in a student support room at a High school in Indianapolis.

Let me start in the beginning. Patrick and I went to Indiana on the 3rd and when we arrived everything was white with snow and it was icy compared to NY City.

We spend the first week just relaxing and visiting some of the local Museums as well as some of the local shopping areas. For those of you who haven’t been to Indianapolis, you might wanna visit the Indiana State Museum (lots of things to see and do),

the Eiteljorg Museum (Native Indian Arts and History)

and the Children’s Museum is definitely something to see

(Chihula’s glass art, be a fish in a corral reef, explore the mummy and so much more!).

Colleen took me to work today and I always enjoy these ventures into High school teaching.

The first time was at CHS, which is a private school and classes had a lot more respect (maybe because most of them really wanted to learn in order to be able to go to a good college). At my last visit Colleen taught at Franklin College and did some private classes. I enjoyed both even more. The Ladies at Franklin were willing students who planned a trip to Europe and had tons of questions about Germany. Private teaching has its upside because you do one on one teaching. That’s were Colleen met Marky, who’s now a happy member of the Taber family.

Now, to my recent experience with public High School German classes: wow. The buildings are quite nice, the teachers I’ve met (especially one of the Spanish teachers – Hola!!) were very nice and some quite charming. The students are a different matter. I guess you have the same types of student as in any other school, though I felt it was more extreme. You have the quiet, shy kid that needs some prompting but actually knows more then he thinks. There’s the loud kid that seems to hide his real personality. There’s the smart one, who does what he’s told and much more. There are rich brats that don’t really know why they should try to understand something. The hyperactive clown of the class. The sulker (is that even a word). Colleen is a teacher with all her heart and you have to be in order to keep up with those kids. Some have no respect, no manners. Some need to be drawn out of their shells. Some need extra help. I was beat after one day, but she does that every week. Mrs. C. you have my utter respect!!

Patrick stayed till the 10th and I drove him up to Chicago. On our way there, we stopped at a Farm, where you can buy there cheese and other merchandise, feed cow, watch cheese being made. We had vanilla cheese cake, which was awesome and I got chocolate milk, which was rich and more than yummy!

Chicago was rainy, sadly so, and I wasn’t prepared – wrong sneakers! We parked at the Millennium Park, where kids were skating,

got tickets for “Wicked” and walked up to Navy Pier.

Around five I drove to the hostel, where I had booked a bed for one night (Patty’s flight to New Mexico left at 2 am!). I was more than annoyed by that time, wet socks, no parking, unfriendly personal, old creaky beds and don’t get me started on the hygiene.

So we went to see “Wicked” which is more than awesome. I fell in love with the Musical instantly.

I drove him to the airport and stayed till about 1:30am and then reluctantly left for the hostel. I slept till 8am and as soon as I could left that dreaded place. The neighbour hood was kinda nice though. I had breakfast at a small café that had French bread, cheese and coffee. I was finally able to relax.

The week without Patty was nice too, because I could do what I wanted to. We had a pre birthday dinner (Melinda’s) at a very rustical restaurant – awesome food, great company.

I met Tawny and finally her husband and son, too. The three of us had lunch and went to the State Fair grounds to go to a reptile exhibition. Usually, snakes are not something I enjoy, but I found out that they are soft, gentle creatures and it amazed me how fearless Owen (her son) looked at them and touched them. Who knows, I might even get a snake at one point in my life.

Colleen and I were also able to meet with Sonya. She’s a Russian artist and one of the most delightful women I have ever met. We talked till the sandwich store closed. I love both of these women very much; they are smart, funny and full of life! The three of us laughed a lot. I draw a lot of strength from this kind of friendship.

Colleen was sick during my stay, first with some kind of flu and she later experienced facial paralysis. It has not really gotten better and her hearing in one ear is disabled, too. Surprisingly she has been able to overcome that disability and found someway to see it as a wake up call to start living her life more actively again.

I already miss the US very much and still have not given up on my dream of one day living in Indiana.

Thank you Mark, Colleen, Chris and Melinda for having Patrick and me. I always feel like coming home and rather as part of the family than a guest.

A big hug to Sonya – I miss you!

Another big hug goes to Tawny and her family – you guys are delightful!

Love,
Rea

P.S.: This year's rental.

Big Apples and Huge buildings

New York City, USA
09:00pm
Cold, clear night

Hey dudes!

New York is awesome. After I arrived at JFK, I took a NY taxi to my hostel, where I met Patty. After a bear hug, paying for the room and unpacking, we left for the Empire State Building. The city was packed and we took a look at the Rockefeller Center

(ice skating ring and the huge Christmas tree) and went off. It took us 1 hour in line to get up the Empire State Building and it was freezing, snowing, but NYC by night is awesome!!

The first night was okay, seeing that it is a 12 bed dorm, and about 6 guys were snoring and the tall guy had his feet in my bed.

Second day was spend in Downtown Manhattan – WTC – Site, Wall Street

, Broadway,

Times Square and we saw the “Lion King” Musical – got cancellation tickets. Meaning, wait in line 2 hours before the show and if someone cancels you get the ticket for 126,40 $. It was worth it and it was my birthday!

Third day, we got up early; we went to the Battery Park. Patty got in line for the ferry to Statue of Liberty and I got in line for the tickets. No monument passes, but tickets for the ferry. 1 ½ h later, we got onto the ferry and were of to see the lady.

We spend a good 5 hours on Liberty and Ellis Island - it was worth it. I cooked at the hostel and we had a lovely evening talking with some other people!

On the 31st, Patty and I left for the Museum of Sex, where I watched porn with a Rabbi sitting next to me. Devine.

We got back to the hostel early and prepared to go to Times Square. 2 pants, shirt, sweater, winter jacket, gloves, scarf and funny hat.

We got as far as 49th street, saw the ball being lifted at 6pm and left by 8pm, because it was cold and boring. Back at the hostel we hooked up with Kris and Dee from Australia as well as Mer and Liz from Brazil. The 6 of us went to a bar, got drunk, danced a lot and had a blast.

And today we slept late, well actually Patty slept late, I got up at 8:30am, got breakfast and went back to bed. At noon, I got us some groceries, after throwing Patty out of bed, and made Pasta and sauce. It was a delicious farewell lunch for Dee and Kris, for they were leaving for Canada. The afternoon, the two of us went to Central Park, took a horse carriage, walked around and just enjoyed each others company.

Plans for the next days: MoMA, Apple Store, Victoria’s Secret Super Store, catch plane for Indiana.

Loads of hugs,
A Happy New Year to all of you,
Patty says hi,

Rea


P.S.: I love NY!!

Save in NY

New York City

Cold

Just a quicky!!

Arrived savely.. having lots of fun..

Love you all!

Rea

Santa's Little Helper

Potsdam, Germany
11:00 Pm
Foggy cold night

Hi folks,

This is my last entry before I leave for New York City.

Last weeks have been busy. At work we had a lot of children with gastroenteritis. The ward was full every day and I often stayed late. Oh this picture was taken after my last night shift.

Two weeks ago I played Santa Clause (yes, sorry, he’s not real) at Yannick’s kinder garden. It was so cute. The kids were shy at first but quickly got friendlier with me, in the end they tried crawling into my sack. Hilarious!

On the 22nd of December, we held the annual Christmas party at my place. This year’s guests:

Lea, Franzi, Christoph,

Donnée, Lauri, Sandra, Jenny, Micha, Max and Marina.

I spend the day cleaning and preparing the food: cake, cookies,

and a turkey. We spend the evening decorating self made cookies, ate cake, decorated the Christmas tree, did “Stehrumchen”,

played with Max,

and enjoyed the turkey. The whole evening was a success.

During the whole evening my Christmas LP’s were playing, a “fire” was sizzling in my TV and we laughed a lot.

Christmas this year was a day early. Marina and I left for Mom’s place on the 23rd, where we had the traditional goose lunch and exchanged gifts. Marina left to visit her godson and we (Mom, her boyfriend Henry and I) went on a walk through the winter wonderland. Marina and I left for Dad’s a bit later. More gifts being exchanged, the traditional potato salad dinner and a visit to my granddads afterwards.

Marina and I worked on the 24th. But that day I had a full blown Bronchitis. I was offered to stay home on the 26th and used that day to sleep, use my meds and drink lots of fluids. It’s a bit better today, but I will still fly to New York City tomorrow. Wish me luck.

To all of you that I haven’t reached per mail, phone or personally:
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! Much Health, love and happiness to all of you.


Andrea

Talking Christmas

Potsdam, Germany
07:00pm
Wet

Hello everyone,

First of all a big hug to my friend J. (you know who I’m talking about, girl)! I know you are going through some hard times right now, but please keep in mind that the most unexpected gifts are sometimes the most precious ones. You will get through this.

Lives been okay, lots of work, health back to old self and I have been at a communication seminary. The theme was how to talk to patients and families so that both parties benefit from the conversation. We discussed how many ways a child and their parents had to go until they were finally able to rest in their room (sometimes not even achieving that, because of a crying roommate). The woman who did this training with us, pointed out how displaced these ppl are in opposition to us who are kind of at home on the ward. We learned 2 different types of communication (there are dozen more):
Type 1:
- Set your goal before you go into the room, e.g. rechecking the temperature after a high fever.
- Evaluate the situation, e.g. distressed parents, child just fell asleep, but immediate danger of a febrile seizure.
- have a positive pose towards your self like “I can do this”
- Call parent and child by name (amazing how a simple “Mr. Smith, I’m nurse Andrea.” catches a persons attention) and keep eye contact.
- stand or sit upright
- Explain in short precise phrases what you have to do.
- Keep eye contact.
- Quite mimic and gestures.
- Do not use “not”! E.g. use phrases like “Justin has to stay in bed today.”, instead of “Justin is not allowed to leave his bed tonight”.
- If the parent tries to evade, stick to your goal and repeat the first steps.
- If you achieved your goal, give a short thank you to the parents for letting you do what you have to do.
- Afterwards, re-evaluate how the situation went; give yourself a pad on the shoulder for e.g. managing to take the temperature without much fuss from the parents.
Type1 is usually used for situation in which I, as a nurse, have to hold the upper hand and do what is necessary for the health of my little patient.

Type 2 is more the taking time and assessing the emotional state in which my opposite is in as well as taking that in consideration.
I found out that I am more type 2, but am able to use Type 1 in difficult situations. Since that training, I have caught myself consciously doing things, e.g. better taking the parents situation in account and using Type 1 when I have to, so I still find it hard not to give in, especially when I can feel with the parent.

Last weekend, Marina, Sandra and I drove to Chemnitz (a good 2 1/2h) to visit the local Christmas fair.

It was raining for the first 2 hours of the road trip. As we drew near, the sky cleared.

It’s not big but has lots of handy works,

local specialities (food, drinks) and just a very nice atmosphere. As you can see that we were up to no good.

A good friend of mine, Andreas, has a beverage stall there – go check out his hot wine, it’s delicious.

Much warmth and love from me to all of you,
Andrea