Sooo Excited

Potsdam, Germany
08:00 pm
Autumn weather

Hiya,

I'm so excited. Only 10 days till take-off to India.

But my last week was a lot of excitement, too.

When I came to work on Sunday afternoon, I saw one of the windows was broken, the wall black and a burned out washing machine lying on the ground before the building.

Apparently our wet room had started burning early in the morning. Thankfully, the early shift nurses reacted very quickly and were able to evacuate all the children and parents, so no one was hurt. The damage is extensive, half our ward had to be closed off, walls and the ceiling need to be repaired, because of burning electrical wires. I will be able to find out how we are going to manage going from 40 beds to 30, especially seeing that the part that is closed was mainly for rooming-in purpose. We'll see.

After working late shift on the weekend, I was off on Monday and Tuesday. Denise had to get teeth surgery so I was back in babysitting business. Vivian and I enjoyed ourselves tremendously after we had ensured her mom, that yes, I am able to make a bottle, and that yes, I knew how to use the car seat. After her nap and a change of diapers, I finished my preparations for the English class while Vivian played on her blanket. She's growing so fast and finished her bottle in no time at all (meaning no break, because every time I pulled the bottle out of her mouth, she complained - very loud). That baby burpes like a fully grown man. Did you ever have to take a baby for a walk? I had my backpack, a baby bag (diapers, change of clothes, wet wipes, a tea bottle, a bottle of milk, and a changing blanket), the car seat and Vivian in the stroller bag, already dozing. After carrying the stuff and the baby 5 flights of stairs down and getting the stroller upstairs from the basement, we locked the car seat and backpack into the car and were on our way. Vivian was fast asleep and enjoyed the autumn sun for a good hour.

By 2pm, the two of us arrived at the hospital to teach English. We started the class by handing the baby around for a cuddle and then talked about introducing a ward to a mom and her child. For the first 10 minutes Vivian listened intently while sucking her pacifier and soon fell asleep in her car seat in front of the class. When Denise returned from her surgery, Vivian was sleeping peacefully in her car seat, waiting for another walk in the nice weather.

Today I received my last vaccination shot for India (I didn't even flinch, but my arm feels like I wrestled Hulk Hogan - honestly!). And afterwards, I spend a nice evening with Jana and Yannick. He gets cheekier every day.

Greetings to the Banyan - see you soon.

Love,
Rea

P.S.: Bought lots of sweets, guess for whom. *wink*

Horses and Babies

Potsdam, Germany
01:00 pm
Rainy

Hellu,

I’ve been to Havelberg last weekend. There is a farmer fair every first weekend in September.

This was actually my third trip and I am enjoying it every year. They have a huge flea market, pet market and a fair with a huge Ferris wheel.

The trip should have included Sandra and Lea, but Sandra was detained because of work. So Lea and I met on Friday evening at my place to have a noodle dish and watch “Brothers Grimm”. The movie was okay, but had I been alone, I would have stopped the movie after the first 10 minutes. It’s a fairy tale for adults and kinda of crazy as well as scary. Though I did sleep well afterwards.

We had self-made banana pancakes for breakfast, prepared the sandwiches for our trip and left. The trip there takes about 2 hours and we parked our car on a field, build our tent and walked the short distance to the fair.

The flea market was 1/3 of its original size, which was okay nevertheless. I was able to buy 2 LP’s (Bing Crosby Xmas and Back to the Future OST). The rest of the day was spend with taking a look at the pets for sell (dogs, bunnies, horses etc.) and enjoying the treats of the fair (different kinds of food, beers, clothes etc.).

The night in the tent was pleasant despite the cold (I came prepared – thick blanket, pillow, quilt, sleeping bag). All in all, a great trip.

Seeing that it’s already September I’ve started my preparations for India. I cleaned my suitcase, bought some goodies for the Weiss family, got some Insecticides (bugs love me – ouch) and am making a list of things to take with me. As you might have gathered – I am so excited!

On Tuesday I will join Denise and Vivian at the baby swimming course. I bought and under water camera to take pictures of Vivian’s diving. You’ll get the pictures as soon as they are developed. Promise!

I will spend a few days with Donnée, who’s looking for an apartment and will be driving to visit my Dad.

Have a great day,
Andrea

With a balanced combination of the two principal energies from mother and father, a girl can both be in touch with her womanly strengths and be a powerful force in the world – strong and nurturing, decisive and caring, goal-oriented and aware of the needs of others. She has the courage to voice what she thinks and feels and the strength to follow her destiny.

– Jeanne Elium

Patty's Birthday Greetings

I know it's already the 24th in Germany, but it's still the 23rd of August in Canada.. So, Happy Birthday, Patty. We miss you, we love you!!

Good and Bad Times

Potsdam, Germany
09:00 pm
Fresh air after a heavy rain.

Today was a strange day.

Good:
I got my Visa for India. If India is as fun as the embassy was last week, then I am going to love it.

Bad:
A babe was waiting at work for me, that I knew pretty well. I fed him and changed him while he was a preemie. I cuddled and rocked him to sleep when he was admitted and we found out that he’s been hurt by family. I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat when he went home with the same family. Today I took pictures of the scratches on his back, the red and purple marks on him and tried to sooth his whining ( he didn’t really cry, he just whimpered) while we waited for an MRI of his head. He’s barely a half year old and has been through so much. On top of all this we nearly lost him during the MRI preparation. I watched helplessly while the doc performed CPR.
Sometimes I hate my job.

A.

Laundry and Light headed

Potsdam, Germany
09:30pm
Post storm weather

Well,

I finally got a new washing machine. Guess what, I love it. Yes, not just like, I LOVE IT! It’s clean, it’s smooth, saves energy, saves water, is really quiet and adding to these awesome features… you can sit in front of it and watch while your knickers get thrown around. Oh, it can wash, too.

Oh oh oh, did I mention that I did all the handy work? I connected the machine and got some spare parts. Imagine how proud I felt doing the first laundry in it?!

Yannick spend an evening at my place with his mom. I made bee-sting pie and homemade cream. We went for a walk to the nearby lake and Yannick couldn’t resist. He was so adorable. Afterwards, I made curry and chatted with Jana. It was really nice.

Concerning my health, I’m kind of having a summer cold and my head feels like packed into cotton balls. But no rest for the wicked, I will be heading to the Indian embassy this Friday to get my Visa and I can hardly wait to take off. But before I leave for Chennai, there’s a week of spare time coming up at the beginning of September. Sandra and I will head to Havelberg to join the local horse market for a weekend. It’s a huge happening every first September weekend and this will be our third trip there. It’s like a great road trip; with an awesome flee market in the afternoon and a carnival in the evening.

Till later, love,
A.

P.S.: I took this on my way home.

P.S.

By the way, I am not submitting to my bad luck by crawling into my bed and crying. Nope, I made some delicious chicken soup. And it does cure everything. Besides cooking is Zen.

*Content smile*

Bad Luck

Potsdam, Germany
09:20 pm
Cool

This is not my week.

1. My car broke down. 400 € for repairs.
2. One of my best friends gets in a rough time with her bf and needs rescuing.
3. My washing machine broke and flooded my bathroom. Repairs won't be possible till Monday next week. Worst case scenario: buy a new machine with money I don't have.
4. After a great summer party hosted by my ward (including a mild hangover the next morning, which I do not regret), my sister called me saying that she was sick. So after I had gotten home, found her in great pain, crying, puking and running a fever, we went to the ER of my hospital. Sometimes I am so lucky to know so many people in my hospital. We only had to wait a few minutes to be seen by a doctor, send to another, get Antibiotics as well as some cooling cream. My colleagues gave Rina something against the puking and the pain, as well as some fluids, all of the above per infusion/injection. She's a bit better now. ! PLEASE DO NOT GET ANY PARTS OF YOUR BODY PIERCED! Why not? See point Nr. 4 what happens if you do and the wound gets infected!!

So, how was your week??

Love,
A.

Rides on Ferries Wheels

Potsdam, Germany
08:30 pm
Warm, but cloudy.

Hello,

I know that it has been a while.

During the last 4 weeks, I finally went on vacation for a week. After my last nightshift on a Friday, Sandra, Lea and I drove up to Hanover, where my great-aunt Traute has a camper. We spend a week on the campground and despite the ever changing weather enjoyed ourselves tremendously.

Here’s a list of the stuff we did:

- swimming in the lake (icy)

- finally read some books (I read Angels and Demons by Dan Brown and I loved it!)

- went for dinner at an American Diner (awesome burgers, delicious desert and oldies played by a jukebox… yes, I loved it)

- enjoyed rides at the Hanover “Schützenfest” (it’s a fair. Sandra and Lea did most rides, but I loved the ferries wheel)

- biked along the Maschsee
- watched “An inconvenient truth” at an Outdoor cinema (shocking movie, but very well done)
- visited the Park of the Senses (we went there at sunset. Lots of greens, small hills, a pond, huge rocks to meditate on)

- had a BBQ with friends

- shopping in downtown Hanover
- girls night in whilst it was raining (it rained a lot, but we cuddled, played games, too long naps)

- walks through Hanover.

The three of us had a lot of fun and were finally able to relax. Sandra had been stressed a lot about work and some other things. Lea has been through a lot lately (her aunt and a good friend have been diagnosed with cancer and both are currently undergoing treatment). And me, well you know that I needed that break.

Marina and I visited Denise, Olaf and their baby two days ago. Little Vivian is growing really fast and gets cuter every day. Tuesday is her bath day and Marina being a nurse student was able to practise how to bath a squirming infant. It was really funny! Marina didn’t really let go of her and after she had bathed and fed Vivian, I was graciously allowed to cuddle her to sleep.

Next Monday is my last appointment concerning my psychotherapy. I will go up to the top of the “Goldelse” in Berlin. After what I achieved this year, I am more than glad that I went through with it. I was able to sleep in the camper without being scared, I walked through the woods alone in the dark without being scared out of mind, and I enjoyed a ride in a huge ferries wheel in the dark while a storm was brewing. Thanks for therapy.

A heartfelt thought goes to Rae. Her family lost their smallest member after only being graced with him for a day. Here’s your candle to bring the light back into your life.

Love ya all,
Rea

USA, Running, Birth and lots more

Potsdam, Germany
09:45 pm
Cool, sunset

It’s been a while.

I know that I haven’t blogged for a while. Life’s been busy as usual.

Lots of things have been going on since the last time. First of all, I’ve bought my ticket to the US!! Yes, I’ll be back, lol. The trip starts on the 28th of December, when I’ll be flying to NYC, where I’ll spend New Years Eve and some additional days - sightseeing being on top of my list. Patty will join me and we’ll proceed to Indianapolis on the 3rd of January 2008. Rent a car, go stay with Tabers, visit friends, show Patty around. Oh, I would love to go right now!!! I was floating out of the travel agency with ticket in hand!

After my night shift 2 weeks ago, I finally had a few days off and managed to see Yannick. The boy grows so fast and is turning out to be a real charmer. We went on a walk along the Havel (a river through Potsdam) and he’d go “oh, oh, oh” while watching ducks and ships go by. He rode on my shoulder, chewing on my hair and bouncing up and down.

Jana (his mom) is doing well now that Yannick is enlisted for kindergarten from the 1st of September on and Jana will be going back to her education on September 24th.

My friend Denise gave birth to her baby girl Vivian on the 13th. She’s a petite little thing, having the eyes of her dad and the lips of her mom.

Denise and Olaf are going to be great
parents with lots of love for little Vivian.

Last weekend, my sister and me (as well as some colleagues and students) helped at the “friendship run for mucoviscidosis”. Mucoviscidosis (also called cystic fibrosis) is a hereditary disease that affects the entire body, causing progressive disability and early death. Thick mucous production as well as a low immune system results in frequent lung infections, which are treated, though not always cured, by oral and intravenous antibiotics and other medications. A multitude of other symptoms, including sinus infections, poor growth, diarrhea, and potential infertility result from the effects of CF on other parts of the body. We treat a lot of patients in our hospital from the day on they are diagnosed. Sometimes we can’t treat them anymore, only ease their pain and be there until the end. As to this day there is no cure, just treatment for the symptoms.

Every year about the same time, people from all over Brandenburg come to Potsdam to run laps for CF-patients. Every runner has a sponsor that pays a certain amount of money for a lap (the runner can have more than one sponsor) and the end sum will be used to help patients. For example my sister was able to talk my Dad’s boss into sponsoring her with 5 € per lap. Marina ran 23 laps (without any practise). I helped by baking cookies that were sold for 50 cents and count the laps. It was 32 °C (~ 90 °F) and there was no trees. Everyone was baking in the heat, but the runners were unstoppable.

There were adults, teens, kids, patients, babies in strollers and even a dog running. At the end about 32.000 € were collected. Awesome, isn’t it ?!

The summer hole seems to have reached us at work. Which is not all that bad in my opinion, because I have been able to finally breathe again and take my time for our little patients. Like for this boy.

His name is Jeremy and his about 1 ½ years old with a sad background. Let’s just say that after taking care of him for a couple of hours, he was clinging to me and calling me mama. Sad, isn’t it. He’s a very cute little guy and already very smart.

But this is my work. Take care of children, nurse them back to health and say good bye, when I have to. He will be back, of that I am sure. Sometimes it is very hard not to be able to do something to help.

During the last year I have been undergoing psychological therapy for my anxiety disorder. As some of you know I had been afraid of sleeping in my own apartment (more so at friends places), heights, walking in the woods (even in broad daylight). The therapy was a behaviour therapy, meaning that I made a fear pyramid (worst fear on the top, lowest on the bottom) and worked my way up by confrontation. For example my fear of the woods: walks in the woods starting with company (my therapist) in daylight for 20 min. and talking about what I fear most, doing a reality check on my fear, develop a natural interest about sounds of the wood, observing mother nature more closely and after some time going alone, up to walking alone during the sunset and in the dark. It feels awesome to be able to enjoy walking through the woods without being scared to death about what could happen.

Through the therapy I have been able to get to know Potsdam better. My height training took my all over the towers of Potsdam. Here some examples of the beauty of this city. I never noticed before how *green* it is. Parks all around, woods surrounding the city and lots of lakes and rivers. I won’t even start about the sights.

My therapy is coming to an end and I am more than glad about having decided to make one. Even as I started it, my fears lessened, as if the sheer process of finally doing something helped. Do not think that they will be gone completely, but when they reappear, I will know how to handle them.

Potsdam has been quite hot the last few weeks, so I welcomed the heavy rain last night. When the air is as thick with heat, I am hardly able to find rest, so I slept like a baby last night. But I enjoy the sun and love to jump into the nearby lake from time to time.

Have a lovely weekend,

Andrea

The Banyan

Potsdam, Germany
09:15 pm
Still chilly.

Hey,

I have started to do some research on Chennai and found this video about the Banyan, where Renu is working. Take a look at it and you might consider some donation for the place. A link is on the right side.

Thank you all,
A.

Pimp my Rea

Potsdam, Germany
09:00 pm
Bit chilly.

Hey,

Some of my friends and I went out to eat on Saturday. We had Mexican food and the company was nice. Sandra brought a friend from school. They are both the same age and yet the difference was huge. Nicky is a party queen, she goes out to dance and drink every weekend. Finishing something has always been hard for her, by now she’s at her 3rd try for an education. She skipped driving lessons because she fluked the theory test 3 times. Acting like a ghetto babe, talking non stop about her ‘man’… it was fascinating to see how ppl change. Sandra came from the same background as Nicky and yet she managed to grow and find a meaning for her life. Yes, I know she needs a kick in the behind from time to time. J

It was pimpin’ time for Andrea.

On Sunday, Sandra and I went to the thermal bath. It was awesome. They have this r’n’r room with lights and music under water. We loved the Jacuzzi.

And yep, I went and finally got my hair cut. It’s shorter, reddish with blond highlights. My hair got coloured, washed, massaged, cut and pimped to no end. I was in haven. It cost me a small fortune, but it was worth it.

Thank you all,
A.

Laughing Babe

Potsdam, Germany
08:00 pm
Storm is brewing

Hey,

Just a quickie. I am doing great. I am planning a trip to NY with Patrick over New Years. I will be getting my ticket next week, if Patty is able to get information about his ticket.

In about 15 minutes I will be leaving for nightshift... my last for this month. Yay!!

And I wanted to share this with you because it made me smile.

Have a great one,
A.

Spoiling Babes

Potsdam, Germany
0:30 am

Cold wind, dark

Hey,

I did a lot for just myself over the last couple of days. Loosing my aunt has hurt, a great deal, but I am coping surprisingly well. I miss her, but also know that no matter where she is now, everything is better than it has been before. I love you!

Last weekend I went to Hanover to get spoiled by my aunt Traute. She’s a strong woman and a great inspiration for me. She took me out for lunch, did bike rides with me around Hanover. Made me breakfast every morning and just listened as I talked. Sometimes I was the one listening, as she did the talking. One thing always seems strange: she’s convinced I am the perfect Christian. Her arguments are about my opinions on life, loving to help with rarely accepting anything in returning and my openness towards other people and cultures. There’s one thing though: I do not believe in God.

The last couple of days I spend some time with Marina. BTW, she’s working on her driver’s license right now. I decided to put some of my great-aunt’s money to good use. She would have loved that.

I also spend some time with Max. He’s growing up so fast. Asking for his “erni”, running in and out of the room and charming everyone with his adorable smile.

And today I was out with Jana and her lovely son Yannick. He’s the cutest little guy. We strolled around Potsdam and its Parks for 3 hours, while Yannick enjoyed his prime seat.

There’s no better medicine to cure a soul than the laughter of a child. The three of us decided to go visit Sandra. She had taken a rain check on the walk because she had to clean her apartment. Okay, she was surprised and I guess a bit miffed, but in the end she loved having Jana and Yannick there.

He took a nap and was up and about afterwards.

Have a peaceful night.
Love, A.

Recovering

Potsdam, Germany
01:00 pm
Warm, sunny.

Greetings,

I am currently residing on my balcony, enjoying the lovely weather.

Thank you all for your condolences, this is a hard time I am facing but having so much support helps a lot. During the last 1 ½ weeks I managed to arrange everything for the funeral, which will be in Berlin on the 26th.

Off to other things:

I lost my voice. Yes, this is not a joke. And all those of you who met me, know how horrible this is for me. The reason I lost my voice is yet another Bronchitis. But I’ll be better soon.

Because I am finally on vacation (till the 2nd of May). Besides taking care of my grandaunt’s things, I will try to relax and do things for my own sanity. Teaching my sisters class and going to Hanover for a short trip are just 2 things.

Two days ago I finally managed to get my ticket to Chennai, India, where I’ll be spending two weeks a Dr. Renu Weiss’s house. She is a great woman with a big heart, check out the Banyan (link on the right), where she works at. Oh, and check out her blog, the way she writes about her life, just read it.

As you all know my best friend Patty is staying in Canada at the moment. He is planning on spending New Year’s in New York with some of us. If everything goes as planned, I will be going to NY for a couple of days and then stay 2 weeks at the Taber’s home. The ticket is rather cheap (640 €) for a trip like this. I will have to wait till after my time out to see whether I am allowed to go on a vacation over New Year’s. Update on that soon.

Have a lovely day,
A.

Defeat

Potsdam, Germany
03:00 pm
Sunny and warm

My aunt left us on April 4th 2007. After 2 ½ weeks of ICU-Care, she went silently. You will always be remembered and we thank you for all the things you graced us with: your smile, patience, love, indulgence, laughter, hugs, gifts, lunches and memories from your life. We know that you are sitting above us on a cloud, finally reunited with your greatest love and surrounded by family and friends; still watching over us and keeping us save. I promise to keep you in my heart forever.

With much sadness and love,
A.

Crying

Potsdam, Germany
06:00 pm
Cold, sunset


Hello,

I am currently very down. My great aunt is lying in ICU. On Friday she had gotten worse and I don’t know why, but the doctors decided to do a colonoscopy (a minimally invasive endoscopic examination of the large colon and the distal part of the small bowel). Somehow they punctured the colon and she was hurriedly taken to surgery. After 5 hours of endless waiting, my family got the news that she was back at ICU, still on ventilator. She got the tube out yesterday and they have her stabilized to some extent. She also has an artificial colon exit (colostomy).

Because of my nightshifts I had been unable to visit her prior to today. I wanted to cry when I saw her, but I did not, because my sister was there. But when Rina left and I was alone, stroking her hair, I was lost. When I was a little girl I sometimes spend a weekend at her apartment and she was the one stroking my hair to make me fall asleep.

The worst thing is, after that proud life she lived, she’s suffering away and all I can do is watch.

A.

We Are Born and We Die

Last week a little baby boy died before he reached his first birthday. I was there when he was born, I was there when he took his first breath and I was there when he stopped breathing for the first time. He had muscle dystrophy. May his little soul rest in peace.

Redecorating

Potsdam, Germany
10:01 pm
Very nice, but dark outside

Okay, for starters: Never go to IKEA without a plan what you are going to buy and without someone who can act as your consciousness. I did have a plan: get a mirror, get some tea candles and get out. I forget to take someone with me! Duh. I went out with a mirror, a couch table, a tea candle holder and several frames in different sizes. I forgot the candles. LOL.

Despite not feeling well (my stomach is queasy and I hurt everywhere), I spend most of my time today building that couch table and rearranging my living room. Here’s a picture what it looks like now.

My grand aunt was supposed to leave the hospital today and go into a short time nursing home, but she caught a very nasty stomach bug and will be staying at the hospital. I will be pulling 5 night shifts this week so I won’t be able to visit her before Sunday. My dad and sis will take care of that. I do not trust my mom further than I can throw her at the moment, which is a shame.

"Fight for your right."

A.

Warmth

Potsdam, Germany
11:19 pm
Nice outside.

Okay, not a single one of you is going to guess what I am doing right now?!

Nope.

Nah, but that was a good one.

No.

Well, I am sitting on my balcony, wearing a long PJ, wrapped in my favourite blanket, enjoying the light warm spring night.

It’s so wonderful to be able to do that after such an eventful day at work (with eventful I mean lots of work!). My feet are up, the light wind is playing with my hair, I am having some Ben and Jerry ice cream ( Caramel Chew Chew) and I feel really content to just sit here and watch the city sleep.

Yesterday, I was driving into work way too early so I found a nice parking lot (a rare occasion), scrolled my window down and shut my eyes. The wind was rustling in the trees, far away I could here work crews, the birds were chatting, cars passing me by. And what I realized just then was that I could just be me, right at the moment. No mask, no fake smile. Don’t misunderstand me, I try to be myself at work as much as I can, but when a parent doesn’t a agree with a therapy that ultimately would help his/her child or if it was a very stressful shift, I, like everyone else, sometimes have to force a smile and put up a “everything is in order” mask.

Kids are smarter than some people think. They now right then that we’re not being ourselves. It amazes me every single time, that when I have to hold a child down in order to insert an iv needle, they cry and fight, but when it’s over and I pick them up, most of them calm down immediately, put there head on my shoulders and their arms around my neck. And when I am having a bad day and am wearing my mask, some sense it, come up to me, gift me with a shy smile, give me a drawing to cheer me up or just raise there arms to give me hug.

And then people ask me why I love my job.

Night guys,
Hopefully soon more.

With much love and a big hug,
A.

In Sickness And Health

Potsdam, Germany
04:20 pm
The end of a beautiful spring day with dark clouds

Hello everyone,

Long time no read. Am just watching the movie “Ladyhawke” with Michelle Pfeiffer and Rutger Hauer and it is simply beautiful. Heart breaking story, some romance, special effects in the making. The day was exhausting, partly because this was my 7th day of work in a row and there are still 3 to come. I am so looking forward to 4 days off afterwards. So, here I am chilling. And as soon as it turns dark outside, I will light some candles and enjoy some Hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Okay, here’s what’s been happing to me in the last couple of weeks.

My parents are going separate ways now, my mom having moved into her own apartment. Currently, talking to my dad is much easier than talking to my mom. The guy she’s been dating for a couple of months now, is moving in with her and despite me having nothing against her being happy, it just feels funny, because she told my dad that it was over just a couple of weeks ago. Mom also has been kinda lying to me and sis about some things, which I hate more than anything. So far my dad has gotten his act together and is trying to rebuild his life as a single person. His biggest fear was that sis and I would want nothing to do with him anymore, which of course is not the case.

Sis is having health problems. Her stomach has been playing roller coaster with her and the doc thinks she’s having gastritis because of personal stress. Well, let me see, parents divorcing, new education, not being able to see her bf all week, well, yeah, kinda stressful. Which, by the way, did not occur to my mom, when she called sis and heard about her problems and what the doc had said.

My great-great aunt got out of the hospital two weeks ago only to be admitted again, last Monday. She has pneumonia and pleurisy; I will be trying to talk to a doctor next week. My aunt’s condition has worsened and she’s been gettting weaker and weaker. Because of my shifts I have not been able to visit her until this Saturday. She is still able to walk but needs constantly oxygen. At the moment she’s just skin and bones. Although she is hungry and would like to eat, a gastroenteritis has made it unable for her to do so.

It’s hard to see my once strong aunt as weak as she is now. Her will to live is weakening like her body. I know that death is more relief than pain for her. But at the moment I do not know what I will do when she passes away and takes a big part of my heart with her.

The second half of April will be my reward for getting over everything. 19 days off. My to-do-list: vistit friends in Berlin, go to the Pergamon museum, have an asian night at Sandra’s, watch a new movie at the Cinestar Original (in english), visit my cousin Ricarda (who will be having a baby soon), take walks in the woods (my therapy did some awesome things), go to IKEA, have a White Café Mocca and Double chocolate cake at Starbucks (heavenly), finish reading at least one book (I buy books when I get stressed out), spend some time with my godson Max, spend some time with Jana and her baby boy Yannick, play Sims 2 (including all the add-ons) till it dawns, make Rice Crispy treats, cook some receipes I always wanted to try, teach english, fix my LP-Player, spend some time with Dad, plan my trip to Chennai (India – whoohoo), go to the Harz and spend Walpurgisnight with friends.
Yes, I know it is way too much, but I am being realistic: if I manage to do at least one thing, life will be sweet.

I also have been doing something for my health. 2 weeks ago, I started Aqua fitness, which is more than fun and good for my joints. A friend also gave me a voucher for a 4 week training at a local gym, which I started last Friday. Boy, was I exhausted, but satisfied.

Okay, I guess that this is enough. The movie has been over for a while, my hands are getting numb from all the typing and it’s getting dark outside.

Stay positiv, don’t forget your dreams, it’s all worth it.

Love,
A.